Hello
So, I have now had a blog request from a friend. this means I am forced to come up with a blog on demand. it's ok really, because i do feel the need to tell you that my mum has purchased some radioactive cheese which is currently defrosting downstairs and is making everybody's life a misery. it's gotta be uranium or something, it stinks so much.
which brings me to my blog topic... friendship. you'll see how.
'stink', 'stinky' and 'stinker' are all things i have been known to call my friends at times. other affectionate terminology includes 'fatty-bo-hatty', 'pixie poxy', 'schnooka' and my own personal favourite, 'squidge'. i hope my friends have come to appreciate these strange nicknames, as they are only ever given to the most deserving.
i had a drink with a friend tonight who i would never dream of calling 'stinky' purely because, he simply wouldn't laugh, or be too bothered. and it occured to me, while we discussed other people we went to university with who neither of us sees anymore, that the process of 'phasing a friend out' of your life is actually seriously difficult.
friendship is a strange animal. it has peaks and troughs. i have several people in my life who i am at a fairly constant level with, and others who i'll suddenly need, then suddenly won't. what happens, then, when you haven't needed someone for a long time? i have a few people like this in my phone book. i've decided lately that it might be best to phase these people out, and focus on the people who really matter to me.
For me, (simply because I've done this several times), the image of collecting someone from an airport in the early hours of the morning springs to mind. if you go through your phone book and ask yourself, on each name, whether you would collect that person from an airport during a particularly frosty night, and at short notice, then the answer should tell you whether or not that person is a friend, or an acquaintance. for me, if they are truly a friend it doesn't matter so much how much i put my heart on the line for them, i know that their heart would be similarly on the line for me. therefore the core people who i have in my life on a daily basis, i would drive to an airport at midnight, and i'd probably make a stupid 'welcome home' banner too. 
it's difficult sometimes to know when is the best time to allow someone to make an exit from your life. i'm in that dilemna at the moment. i have a friend who, to complicate matters, i used to be in a relationship with. i'm starting to feel that now is probably the right time to let that go. we've been clinging on to apparent nothingness for a long time now. my only problem is knowing that it doesn't matter how long i leave it between contacts, he'll make contact, wondering how i am, why i haven't called. i'm starting to think it isn't possible to let him go quietly, and that it actually requires a proper 'parting ways'. it sounds ridiculous. he lives the other end of the country to me, and here i am imagining that it would be best to meet up in order to say 'goodbye'.
But what can I do? It's amazing how terrific close friends seem when you realise how little others give you and how much you have given them. i can't count the amount of airport trips i would have made for him.
is it time to leave him standing alone in 'arrivals'?
