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Posts archive for: 18 November, 2007
  • bodies

    Hello everyone

    I'm going to blog twice in one day. Mainly because I found that poem and felt compelled to share it, and also because a theme has come to light and i thought I'd write about... bodies. what exactly IS it that makes us love or hate a part of our bodies? where does that huge gap between the way we see ourselves and how other people see us come from?

    Maybe I am a strange sort of 23 year old woman, but I rarely think about my body at all. I rarely even wonder what I'm going to wear unless someone somewhere has made a 'big deal' about it. I think about what I should wear to work for about 30 seconds and then I just grab what's clean/wasn't worn the day before. I might think about it for a bit longer if it's a party or a special occassion, but in front of the mirror is not my favourite place to hang out.

    I hardly ever consider my physical-self. Now and again i remember the little things I absolutely hate about my toes, for example, or how I have one eye ever so slightly bigger than the other, but I've never been known to lose any sleep over it. The way I see it, we're sort of stuck with our bodies, unless we have enough money stashed away to modify aspects for purely cosmetic reasons.

    This weekend has had quite a physical feel to it. I went to see a play yesterday with an old friend which had quite a bit of nudity in it. not bad for a saturday matinee, glass of red wine in one hand, watching some naked bloke reading out a soliloquy ;-)
    the night before, a friend had made some comments which forced me into actually thinking about my body for the first time in nearly a year, and as i watched this naked bloke prancing around it made me realise that a person's body is actually entirely empty and devoid of anything unless you know them, even care about them. i thought the guy on stage was quite attractive, but there was nothing more to it than that.

    the body is really just a shell, but perhaps we can't just rely on the phrase 'it's what's inside that counts'. The inside has a massive impact on the outside, but i wonder how often what's felt inside matches what's really seen outside?

    In that respect, I don't think I match.

  • i found this

    Very briefly, I found this in a book late last night.

    The Fist

    The fist clenched around my heart
    loosens a little, and I gasp
    brightness; but it tightens
    again. When have I ever not loved
    the pain of love? But this has moved

    past love to mania. This has the strong
    clench of the madman, this is
    gripping the ledge of unreason, before
    plunging howling into the abyss.

    Hold hard then, heart. This way at least you live.

    ---

    I almost want to salute the poet for that. I can read it over and over again and each time i think it becomes more gorgeous.

    And more true.

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