Hello all
i'm not too well this weekend. when i'm not feeling so good, the overwhelming tiredness that creeps up on me from monday to friday takes hold. last night i was asleep by 10pm. i feel as if i'd rather shut down tonight than do anything else. it's amazing how draining the 9 to 5 can be. people drain me more than anything. it strikes me that most of the problems in the world today are caused by people not thinking about the impact that they are having on others. this week i was 'mediator' in a meeting between two colleagues and my manager to try to resolve a conflict. of course, it did not work, and one person stormed out while another (who really had a point) put his head on the desk and just... sobbed. at those moments, there really isn't anything that can be done. if even one scrap of you cares for another, seeing tears is really quite disasterous. i can think of a couple of people in my life who i've never seen cry, and who I don't think I could deal with seeing cry without ending up in the same state myself.
I have mentioned earlier in my blog that my family currently faces a huge loss. as christmas edges ever closer, so the impact of that loss creeps up on us all. will we crawl through those 4 or so days in tact, or will we end up having a moment of collective 'break-down' on xmas eve? i don't know at the moment. i wouldn't like to guess.
I found a poem (which lately I'm inclined to do) which illustrates the way I feel about that loss more so than a longer, more epic one would. I didn't write this one.
This is what I want to sign off with
You know what I'm
like when I'm sick: I'd sooner
curse than cry. And people don't often
know what they're saying in the end.
Or I could die in my sleep.
So I'll say it now. Here it is.
Don't pay any attention
if I don't get it right
when it's for real. Blame that
on terror or pain
or the stuff they're shooting
into my veins. This is what I wanted to
sign off with. Bend
closer, listen, I love you.
x
