It's amazing how stressed and down-trodden I sounded in my last blog, reading it back. I'm trying to think of things that have happened since, or the best way to put them onto the page. Ah, a list, that's probably best. Here goes.
1.) Things have got a little better at work. I am looking for other jobs every weekend but nothing has really come to light as of yet, and particularly nothing where i could have completely varied days of sitting in starbucks discussing the best way to strategically plan a training program one minute, and the next minute be lugging a giant box half way across campus swearing about how heavy it is and hugging a bloke in a tiger suit. I've made myself a little happier by negotiating a huge investment from my boss, a better salary, a decent sized office, and some more hands to the mill. I wouldn't say things are 'great', things are seriously tiring and i continue to give up valued weekends and evenings while colleagues look at me like 'yeah? and?', but i'm not dreading every day as much as i was.
2.) the focus has shifted away from work a little, and onto my personal life which has basically been neglected in favour of my desk. my personal life and my working life sort of got themselves mixed together. i recognise now that i had put myself in a very dodgy situation and i am seriously relieved things seemed to have straightened themselves out. i was caught between a rock and a hard place in the most literal sense, i suppose, and moral dilemas like that don't come around very often. i'm still left with an over-riding sense of anger that the situation happened in the first place, but i think that will pass with time and positivity.
i'm not sure whether i have the same levels of trust that i used to keep for all the people i'm close to. now-a-days i doubt them much more than i ever did but i don't think there's anything wrong with being a bit more guarded and insecure.
a while back in my blog i continuously mentioned 'finding out who stays there when the chips are down'. well i suppose they are down now, and i'm watching to see where things will settle and when the ripples will stop.
