The concept of space, and finding a place in the world, is something which has been on my mind for a while. Since October 2008 I've been living in shared houses close to my job, and discovering both the plus sides and down sides of living with total strangers. Downsides, you can end up with some complete weirdos. On the plus side, you might meet a complete gem, like rich, my ex housemate from over the road who has become a good friend.

At the moment i'm living with a couple who work odd hours, which means that most of the time, if i'm home they aren't, and the same goes for when they're off work, which tends to be week days. that's all fair enough but i do still get the distinct feeling that i'm living in someone elses' house (which I am, despite paying shed loads of rent). it's a great house with loads of space, a huge kitchen i could have a barn dance in, and i look forward to nights to myself here, but it's not mine.

my partner also has a shared house. add this together with my shared house scenario and it seems more obvious than ever before that neither of us have a space which is just ours. His house is slightly more relaxed and there's more of a feeling of shared ownership, but still neither of us have decided what our houses look like, and i think we'd both like to get there at some point. This weekend, we retreated to my folk's house because they were away for the weekend. It was a total release to be able to say 'i'm going to dump my shoes there, my bag there, and sit here' and not have to think about things like shower timings, mess in the kitchen etc. We both agreed it felt like being on holiday.

So, when is a good time to head into your own personal space? When will it be the right time for me to make my first steps on the property ladder? Is that a ladder I particularly want to look at right now? and if I did decide to get my own space, does it make sense to move in with him, stuff the consequences, compromise on location for the sake of more time together in our own space? who knows.

or is personal space or 'place in the world' about more than sofas and showers and bed linen? is it really about feeling at home with yourself, not your belongings? is there really a right time to make any step in life or do steps in life just bash you over the head when you least expect them, again I'm not sure.

i suppose i'll continue hunting.